4AM and Twitter’s Down


robot

What to do when you’re up at 4AM because the pasta you ate at 7PM knocked out your brain? You go to Twitter to catch up on the news – lead poisoning in Flint, Hillary leading in the polls, UK debates a ban on Trump – and then “Internal Service Error” and a white page. uhoh. Check Twitter Status. Yes, there are some “Service Issues” and Twitter knows, and Twitter promises it’s working on these problems. You look around and find downdetector, and sure enough, Twitter’s Down and a couple hundred people in different parts of the globe are stumbling in the dark and reporting the tragedy. Well how about Solitaire? Haven’t played in awhile. TriPeaks is always fun but no, there’s something missing. It doesn’t have the spark needed at 4AM. Bounce around eBay a bit, still with the big savings but hohum. Check back at downdetector, and more folks have found the site and diligently reporting. More and more actually. Well it might be engaging to list the countries suffering the Twitter withdrawals…. Ukraine,  Buffalo NY, Warsaw, Flanders NJ, Manhattan, Toledo, Switzerland, CT, Pakistan, Egypt, Czach Republic… and you realize that Twitter is really down. Like down down. You wonder about Facebook then quickly tell yourself “No!” because Lexulous is too damn addictive. Wander into the kitchen and wash the pasta pots and pans. Now the bird is up – it’s 5 in the morning, Go back to sleep little birdie. Call for the cat because it’s so friggin cold out side. Check back and more countries are reporting. Greece, Serbia. Sort of working in Germany and Scotland. Still down in Belgium, Uganda, Hungary, India, Azerbajian. Someone in Kentucky says it’s working. But not in Atlanta or Portugal or Boston. Out in Romania, Pennslvania, Brazil. geez it’s the whole world.  Now it’s 5:30 and you figure it’s ok to make coffee, the sun will be up in a few hours (checking time like an alcoholic). You begin to realize Twitter is an addiction. Twitter eats into your life like a virus. But you don’t care. People in Poland, Greece, Finland, Essex and someplace called Andorra all empathize. Twitter is down for them too. This whole community of nations, this global village, knitted together by 140 characters is coming undone. Is undone. The seam has frayed. The garment torn. Your friends in Canada and Paris are silently absorbing the dismay. Someone in Mehsana is lonely.  Donald Trump has fidgety fingers. Slovenia, Nigeria and Washington DC all gagged. Spain, Italy, Austria, Ireland. The world has come down. Saudi Arabia is bereft. You do not see China or Japan or Russia and you wonder. Is this the Big Hack? Or a precursor to the Real Big Hack when the electrical grids screech to a halt, ATMs collapse, failsafes fail? Down in Wyoming, Cyprus, Cape Town. Nairobi, Tennessee, Virginia and Dubai. No country is immune. You search and find this interesting headline: “Twitter share price plummets to fresh low for third day in a row as lawsuit claims Twitter helped Isis terrorists,” read the first few paragraphs of the article. For kicks, you tweet the article and voila! It works. The adrenalin surges. Twitter is up!

 

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