If You Voted for Hillary, You Might Be…

Been browsing the Bernie Sanders Fan Club this afternoon and discovered that their pundits have already profiled the 3,401,030 voters in five states who swept Hillary Clinton to victory yesterday. If you are one of those 3,401,030 voters, the piercing analysis may hit you with jaw-dropping awe.

1) YOU’RE A BILLIONAIRE

The losing candidate was the first to present this description. The billionaires are a hated class because, of course, they are all evil.

But someone in Oz thought about that and figured that there are probably not 3,401,030 billionaires in the states of Missouri, Ohio, Florida, Illinois and North Carolina.

2) YOU’RE BRAINWASHED

3) YOU’RE 45 OR OLDER

Apparently, it’s only the young people (and in Ohio, the really young) who recognize that Wall Street is ruining their lives.

The obverse must also be true. If you are old enough for a career and a pension, then per Bernie Fan Club logic, you are totally oblivious about the disastrous effects that financial institutions have on things like credit, mortgages, interest rates and pensions. Only the young understand these things.

5) YOU’RE A CLOSET CONSERVATIVE

hmm a “closet conservative”? Like the conservatives who work their butts off for parity? Or the ones who put their lives on hold to elect the first woman President? Maybe it’s those closet conservatives at Planned Parenthood or the Human Rights Campaign. Could it be the conservatives that really want Trump or Cruz but switched parties and voted for Hillary for kicks? I’m not sure which closet conservative is referenced here – so many choices – 3,401,030 of them!

If none of those tags seem to fit, then you might be:

  • A FRIEND OF GEORGE WALLACE
  • A UTERUS/VAGINA, BITCH or STUPID
  • A DEMOCRAT
  • A CORPRATIST OR WALL STREET WHORE
  • TOTALLY  CLUELESS
  • HUNGERING FOR EXTREME WEALTH, FAME & POWER

and of course, I dare not forget (though the fan club did), the Number One reason we voted for Hillary Clinton.

WE ARE THE ESTABLISHMENT!

Isn’t it fun being a thing?

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5 thoughts on “If You Voted for Hillary, You Might Be…

  1. I am a life-long, liberal Democrat who has worked within the party for fifty years. A flag waving, bleeding heart, who looks forward to our first woman President. Hillary is not perfect, but then, we have never had a “perfect” candidate ! Quit complaining and whining, and role up your sleeves and help to support all of our Democratic candidates, as the Republicans have lost their ____ minds !!!!!

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  2. Another great post Grace!

    I did not see this last week, but I did read “Who Is A Hillary Voter?” in The New Republic.

    So I wrote, “Who Is A Hillary Voter? Something You May Not Have Considered.”

    Here’s the link:
    http://www.sadiesgathering.com/2016/03/who-is-hillary-voter-something-you-may.html

    Oh… and yes, I am a bitch, and proud of it. For explanation see: http://www.sadiesgathering.com/2015/01/go-ahead-and-call-me.html

    Happy voting if you’re in AZ, ID, or UT

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    1. Sadie, I’ll head over and read your “Who Is A Hillary Voter.” As far as the “bitch” appellation, we need to take back the language hurled at us. I can’t wait to see how you’ve made the word a positive for ALL of us.

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  3. For the record, my name is Susan, Sadie was my wonderful grandma. I will do another post at some point about words, but when I saw the word b*tch done in pretty floral, made me want to put it on a tshirt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Speaking of tshirts, I was messaging a woman on twitter tonight about perhaps putting the image of Hillary in a witch hat (Google it, it’s there of course) and have in script,
    “If Hillary’s A Witch, I WANT HER IN MY COVEN! The rest are flying monkeys. I adore witches. Check out 13 Reasons Witches Rock sometime. It’s late, so gonna go, but if you get time, I’d love to have participate in The Sadie Project. http://www.sadiesgathering.com/p/the-sadie-project.html

    Take good care and have a lovely weekend.

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