It just gets curioser and curioser… and curious things lead to speculation.
Devin Nunes has sent the notorious memo around the table of the esteemed House Intelligence committee. There’s a hue and cry from the Democrats. Some mewing sounds from the cowed Republicans. In a few days, Trump will have it in his hands, and if you’ve listened to the yahoos at FOX, all hell is about to break loose.
Adam Schiff is furious. He sends out a tweet.
Committee Republicans JUST voted to declassify their spin “memo” and prohibit release of the Democratic response in what they claimed was “the interests of full transparency.” It was transparent alright – transparently cynical and destructive.
On the day of the president’s big speech, Schiff makes contact with Trey Gowdy. They have a quick and quiet exchange. It goes something like this:
Adam: PSST, Trey, you’ve got to do something. We both know Nunes is a madhatter. Can’t you shut him down? I want to watch the Pats, not fight Fox.
Trey: All right. Lemme take a look at the memo. I’ll get back with you.
Gowdy, who is fed up with the imbecile at 1600, reviews the memo and carefully inserts a sentence. He places it deep into the document, in the final section, so as to make it as inconspicuous as possible. He figures, rightly, that no one will doublecheck and the president won’t even read it.
He throws in the damning statement:
The Papadopoulos information triggered the opening of an FBI counterintelligence investigation in late July 2016 by FBI agent Pete Strzok.
Once the deed is done, Gowdy decides it’s time for that announcement. He’d pondered it for many a day. He was exhausted. Benghazi had sucked the marrow from his bones. His time in the limelight was over. Nunes was the new attack dog. Gowdy wasn’t going to stick around in the shadows, writing his silly memos like some secretary and then cleaning up his goddam messes. It was all getting old. He was getting old. He wanted nothing more than nap on his favorite hammock, swinging under his favorite sycamore with his favorite bourbon at his side and barbecue sizzling on the grill. The hell with the imbecile and the idiot.
He prints the edited document.
Another furtive call to Schiff.
Trey: It’s done. The memo will self destruct. Oh, I gave you another layer of attack. Now that it’s been edited, you can blast Nunes for sending over an altered document. He’s damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t.
The revised memo goes to the White House. A few heads explode at the change. A few cooler heads sigh in relief and laugh at the ineptitude of Nunes.
Trey Gowdy announces his retirement.
Schiff sends out his Breaking News tweet and issues furious statements to the press.
Paul Ryan comes up with his “civil liberties” defense of the memo.
The memo moves from the White House back to the House. Nunes is forced to release it or suffer a terrible tantrum from the imbecile and eternal calumny from Fox & Friends.
The imbecile huffs and puffs and claims that “a lot of people should be ashamed.”
Schiff chuckles. Trey chuckles. Devin cries.
Schiff never describes what was altered in the memo. Ryan decides the Democrats’ memo can be released. Gowdy tweets that he remains “100 percent confident in Special Counsel Robert Mueller. The contents of this memo do not – in any way – discredit his investigation.”
Crisis averted. Game on!
They don’t call them the Tea Party for nothing.